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I've tried. I really have. But no matter how hard, I still end up a failure. I have almost no friends. I rarely talk to people. I can't do anything right. Everyone hates me and no one cares about me. My parents don't trust me, and they don't believe I can do anything by myself without some sort of help. Nobody gives a shit about how I feel or what I think. Whenever I think I made a friend, it turns out they were either using me, trying to hurt me, or something else that causes our "friendship" to end quickly, leaving me there with nothing. It happens regardless of how I treat them. But I found a solution. No one can hurt a dead body. Yes, that's right. Suicide. I'm going to slit my wrists, then my throat, and if I'm still alive and able, I'll stab myself in the stomach just to make sure. I've heard it before. "Suicide isn't the only way". Well fuck you, how would you know? In my case it is. We're all different Besides... even if I have a successful life, which I doubt, what's the point of it? We die anyway. Ultimately, nothing will be different. I'll still end up a useless corpse. And honestly, that seems more appealing than being lonely and getting ridiculed every day. Now to those of you very few people that care at all about me, I'm sorry. To the rest, fuck you and go to hell. As soon as I press the send button, I'm picking up the 7" kitchen knife and letting my blood cover the floor.
This is fucking it.

Evan Laboiteaux Noyes
3/26/2010